I wish there was a viewpoint I could climb to see my whole life up to this moment from above. I am naturally a person given to reflection, but the other day I was faced with a question I didn’t have an immediate answer for – what is your story?
Yes, what is my story?
I have looked at my life as being made of different chapters, but yet I struggle to put them all together. There is a story somewhere… but what is it?
While exploring some old lookout points in the forest near where I leave now (a forest that no longer exists because well, it was consumed by wildfires, probably because these lookout points are abandoned, just saying), I found myself wishing to have this sort of thing on my life. An impartial view on it. Being able to connect the dots.
Yet what does my story matter really, in comparison to the immensity of Earth, of the Universe? And this is where I get stuck. I’m just too small. Too insignificant. I’m no one in societal concepts. But yet, all I’m trying to do is keep moving forward even when it gets challenging. Adapting. Surviving. Adapting again. My story, my chapters are made of these little stepbacks immediately remediated by my own will and strength.
So many believe there is a reason for existence. Believing we, the human species, are here for a purpose, were given a gift. And perhaps you, reading this, are one of these believers. And, if you are, I envy you. I wish I could be a believer as well. I’ve learned to simply believe in myself. The problem with belief and faith is that often it fails us. We all go through a crisis. But when you fail to believe in yourself, you have no one else, or nothing else to blame apart from you.
What is my story? I guess mine is the story of a seeker. The story of a being who simply can’t stay grounded. Who will choose the hardest path if she has to. Who has chosen risk to comfort, who gets exhilarated by challenge and depressed by conformism. But what am I seeking? No idea. Perhaps the ending for my story. But you know what they say. It is all about the journey. Not the destination.
Now, allow me to challenge you: what is your story? 🙂