I am someone who likes to be in control of any situation. The pandemic made me realise even more that no matter how much you try to control your life, control is an illusion, a lie we are told since young age and on which we believe blindly.
There’s no such thing as control. Perhaps there are certain things you can control to a certain extent. And those things are somehow related with how you deal with different situations. And even there, control is little. When you think you have choices, sometimes you don’t. Choice can be a big illusion, pretty much like control.
At the moment, I’m trying to control my stress levels and anxiety in order to be given the power of choice. In order to get to the former, I had to make the decision of definitely not going back to London this year. That eliminated some stress, having in mind how uncontrolable the situation is.
But. It’s. Tough.
So now I want to ensure I’m taking advantage of a bad time. Exploring Portugal like I hadn’t with small escapades. So the other day I went to Lisbon to meet a friend and see the exhibit Meet Van Gogh. And it was a great day. I did feel like myself again. A tiny bit.
Got to visit a old church, that is totally within my preferred aesthetic – it was partially destroyed by a fire and a earthquake, it is dark, it is old. The Church of St. Dominic, in Rossio is definitely a landmark I never visited in the many times I was in Lisbon.
And of course, for the first time, in a weekend in August, the bakery where everyone goes to get a taste of the original Pastel de Belém had no queue. I wasn’t hungry, but this food doesn’t go to your stomach, it goes straight to your heart.