Lately, I’ve been dreaming of freedom. Missing gazing the ocean and think about the multiple possibilities the world can offer. Missing being younger, knowing nothing of the world and just dreaming about all the things I could do.
But I’ve grown to learn I cannot be satisfied. Not for long. Once a goal is achieved my nerves yearn for more. And in the past couple of months, I feel restrained. I feel I’m stuck in a life I once desired, but not that much anymore. I made it to London. I’m building a career in London. But all of that has lost so much of the meaning it used to have to me because while in London, while working my ass off, I also got to start venturing through the world. Seeing places, experiencing cultures, been told History and stories.
I’ve tasted it. And know I want more. It’s childish, probably. I think I was born with a gipsy soul. Perhaps we all were – I truly believe we were never meant to live in the same place. Gipsies got it right.
Now, I am waiting for the Christmas spirit to kick in and lift my moods. That hasn’t quite come yet. Not sure why. Perhaps because my yearnings to get away are too loud. There’s no room in my mind for anything else.
So I think about the ocean. I was clearing up some clutter from my phone and found these pictures from my home country. This Summer. Sunny skies and sea breeze. That always makes me feel better. Not a cure, but an anaesthetic.